This week had some definite ups and downs. There were 4 students from the high school my school feeds into that were involved in a car accident a week ago. Two were killed. This event has had a major impact on the students in that high school (our former students) and their siblings (some which are currently in our school.) It hurts to lose them. It doesn't make sense. I know we serve a sovereign God, and that all things work together for the good of those that love him, but right now we're hurting.
Daniel has also struggled this week. A little bit of congestion quickly turned into difficulty breathing, a doctor visit, and breathing treatments at home. On the way home from the doctor, Cris's truck was damaged in a hit-and-run accident. Add to that some aches and pains from overexerting myself at camp this week, stress of the impending medical and repair costs, continued monitoring of Daniel, and you get some long, sleepless nights.
This is one of those weekends where the unfairness of life was really getting to me. I could choose to embrace the misery or celebrate the good. It's so easy to rely on our life circumstances to dictate our moods. It's a lot harder to find joy and strength in spite of the storms. I'm sure glad I don't have to do this on my own- my track record is full of anxiety and depression. Here's what God has given me...
"So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34) I have much to be thankful for this week. (1) My family IS here, and we aren't promised health, or even a tomorrow. (2) The truck is drivable, and all the electronics seem to be working. (3) We had enough money for Daniel's medication. The doctor visit, nebulizer, and truck repairs will go through insurance and be billed later, to be dealt with later. There are plenty of things to worry about, but not today. Although I may not be able to see how our issues will be worked out, I know they will be.
"The joy of the Lord is our strength." Nehemiah 8:10. Joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is that fleeting emotion that is dependent on our circumstances. When things are great, we are happy. When things are not, we aren't. Joy is that peace we get in the really tough times, being able to smile when we are hurting and grieving, and forgiving someone who has hurt us. We can do this through God, but it's really tough without him.
This weekend took a deliberate act of surrender- setting aside our burden and relying on the joy of the Lord. God is bigger than my mess. He's stronger than all the unfairness happening.
By choice, I took Alyssa to a school celebration she had been looking forward to all week while Cris took care of Daniel at home. On Saturday, I followed up with pumpkin pancakes (eaten in our pajamas, of course!) Cris and I took turns with Daniel's breathing treatments and taking naps (we both needed them!)
Later on Alyssa and I played board games, made pumpkin blondies and peanut butter pumpkin cookies to share, and read books together.
Daniel was the recipient of hugs, snuggles, and tickles. He especially loved the attention from his big sister.
Look out world. You may have dealt us loss, a tough economy, and unfair circumstances, but you haven't won. Our family is smiling and celebrating anyway.
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